Jake

 Jake and I started a relationship that was entirely based on music. We were both artists that collected records and record shopping was life. In the record store he would always start at rock and I'd always start in the world section and we'd meet in the middle. At the time he worked at the Bull Moose in Portland and I worked at the Bull Moose in Scarborough. We would email back and forth in their little inter-store e-mail system. Our first official date was at a Melvin Sparks show at The Big Easy. I would hang out at his house while he played drums and our friend Noshun played the trumpet. I would sit and listen and draw. I was always drawing back then. 

We all went to NYC one winter and saw the great Ennio Morricone at Radio City Music Hall. It was the first time he had conducted an orchestra in the United States and it was one of the coolest things I've ever done. 

We were always listening to records. Together we made a birthing tape for the hospital so no one would have to flip a record when we were there lol

The day I gave birth to Tristan a Tom Ze record came in the mail. He went home and picked it up and brought it to the hospital because I was equally excited about it. He had a portable turntable that we listened to it on because I was in the hospital for a week, and we couldn't wait to hear it.

It's a crushing blow to hear everyone talk about selling his record collection now. That's such an education for his kids and now that he's not around to continue the passion it's more important than ever to keep his collection in tact. Truly breaks my heart to think we have to sell his things. It feels so wrong and it hurts my heart so much. We have to keep the vibe alive because there's no one else like Jake. A true 1 of 1. 

Grief and Parenting Beyond the Veil

One minute you're dying your teenager's hair and the next your whole entire life changes. 

In September, my co-parent/my kid's father, suddenly died in a house fire. It's October now and my brain is still in a fog. Making plans seems impossible, thinking of time and dates feels unnatural, and attending the fun events I had bought tickets to previously feels both trite and completely necessary. Life is going on all around me at full speed and I am stuck in a school zone, crawling slowly through each day.

But I'm a mom, and more importantly my kid has lost their father, and I must do everything in my power to be there for them in every way I can. In many ways, Tristan (said teenager), is more grounded than most about the whole situation, but it's new. Next month they'll miss their dad more than ever, and then the month after that will be Christmas and it will hurt again, then in March it will be their birthday and they'll hurt again and again. So the path through grief and heartache isn't a set length of time. It's a pain that will live in our bodies for the rest of our lives. 

But it doesn't define us.

Jake was the best dad in the world. He was such a unique spirit and an effortless partner in parenting. We both live life with anticapitalist beliefs and a deep love of the things that matter most in life: love, music, dancing, and friends/family. We are both so proud of Tristan and who they've become and I know Jake is all around us showing us love and support.

How do I know?

The synchs of course lol. 

The day after we all got the news, Tristan and I drove to Portland to hang at Jake's house with our friends and family. (Jake has another child--Ilios--and baby mama--Shannon.) Shannon had left to go pick up Ilios at college in Pennsylvania, but the rest of us gathered. Jake's mom flew in from Florida and we all just stood out front of the house in the yard hugging, crying, and waiting for him to drive up. We kept saying, maybe it wasn't him. Maybe he wandered off to the beach and he'll drive up any minute. He had had tickets to see Swamp Dogg at Space Gallery the night previous that he missed, so we knew deep down the truth was something we didn't want to accept because he wouldn't have missed a show for the world. But still, our hearts and our minds didn't want to accept the truth. One by one we went inside the house with tears streaming down our faces. All of his music gear, record player, keyboards, and monitors, were still on, breaking our hearts once more as we realized he had expected to come home that fateful two nights ago. Turning it all off made it feel so permanent, so Tristan and I left that up to someone else. We still wanted to believe he'd drive up any minute now. Surely he'd just drive up any minute now. After hours of sharing stories, hugs, and utter disbelief we all went back to our homes until tomorrow when we would reconvene. 

On Tristan and I's ride home, on the backroads of Auburn a giant stork flew in front of our car. Jake is 6'4 and it felt like him in bird form. This bird was SO huge and unmissable for the 2 of us. The next day that very stork was flying around my job. 

I feel him all of the time and there have been so many reminders that he's always with us. Forever it will be my mission to keep his vibe alive. The dead are alive because we are. 

I'll Mourn You On the Weekend

First I lost Jake, my parenting partner, my child's father, and one of my best friends. A few weeks later, Tyler, one of my closest high school friends passes from an illness. 

I'm left here with

8 hours of bereavement pay

The tickets I bought coming to claim me

School's in session

When are you coming back to work?

When can you read my cards?

What are you bringing for Thanksgiving?

Here's my Christmas list

Work

Work

Work

Did you see that movie yet?

Did you watch that show?

Living in the depths of my past decisions

my feelings, 

in the sunken place is where I reside

Oxygen is scarce here

The darkness is easy on my mind, the quiet let's me breathe

The pressure above water weighs more on my heart than the water itself

Sink

I stretch my body and my mouth makes it above the surface

You can hear my words and I can answer your questions, but I remain below

Nothing matters in the sunken place

My fingers aren't even wrinkled up yet

Interview with a Ghostpire: Thelonious Monk

Today on Interview with a Ghostpire, I’m talking to Thelonious Monk about synchronicities. 

Thelonious, I’m dying to know, do you think we’re given regular clues to unfold different mysteries in our lives? 

“Where’s jazz going? I don’t know. Maybe it’s going to hell. You can’t make anything go anywhere. It just happens.”

Do you think it happens on purpose or purely coincidental? 

“Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.”

Fair, but writing is a form of expression, and if the universe is expressing itself to us via seemingly random clues, than I think we’re on the right track. 

“Don't play everything (or every time); let some things go by… What you don't play can be more important than what you do.”

Interesting. So, watching things happen is equally as important as participation? 

“You've got to dig it to dig it, you dig?”

I do, actually. It’s funny, it’s almost like those grade school word problems with the dudes carrying 50 watermelons around were training us for more then just math. 

“Monk's reasons for dancing during a performance: "I get tired sitting down at the piano! That way I can dig the rhythm better.”

Yes. What’s wacky to some is an energetic alignment for you to fully embrace yourself. 

“The piano ain't got no wrong notes.”

I’m gonna hold that as a metaphor in my heart. It’s been great chatting with you today. Do you have any last words for my readers? Should they watch Straight No Chaser? 

“I’m famous. Ain’t that a bitch?”

Interview with a Ghostpire: Salvador Dali

Salvador Dali joins me on Interview with a Ghostpire to discuss the Tik Tok multiverse. 

Salvador, I’m dying to know, do you think these interconnected videos are creating a rift in space? 

“Progressive art can assist people to learn not only about the objective forces at work in the society in which they live, but also about the intensely social character of their interior lives. Ultimately, it can propel people toward social emancipation.”

Interesting, so, by connection we’re freeing our inner person because this particular connection is a celebration of our person?

“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.”

So, for you, Tik Tok isn’t about an energetic chasm in the 4th dimension, it’s about liberating the personal energy in the 3rd?

“What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust.”

Yes! Our minds are the most interesting subject of all, aren’t they? 

“The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.”

Haha, it’s been a trip talking with you today. 

“I don't do drugs. I am drugs.”

Haha, oh right right. Any last remarks for the readers? 

“Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them.”

Interview with a Ghostpire: Alice Coltrane

Today on Interview with a Ghostpire, I’m talking to Alice Coltrane about string theory.  

Alice, I’m just dying to know, do you think we can use string theory on a massive scale to describe alternate dimensions

and realities? 

“When looking through the spiritual eye, or the third eye encased within the human mind, one can see vividly beyond the ken of human eyesight, beyond the material atom, and into the future, thereby transcending the limitations of time and space.” 

You know, I agree. I don’t think we need physics to find those dimensions and realities at all. We just need our minds. 

“Look at what trance means. It means to transcend... it means to become transcendental! So if we get a singular transcendental path of light, that could lead to such great dimensions of consciousness, of revelation, of spirituality, of spiritual power.”

So, what good is spiritual power if you have to wake up in the material world? 

“You're creating it comes from the heart, the spirit, the soul. You're not manufacturing somebody else's plan, somebody else's blueprint, somebody else's idea that's not yours. So when you're creating, that's the beauty side of art, you know? It comes from within you.”

It’s weird to combine spirit and a human experience to me, but art definitely helps. Do you have any pointers on reaching alternate planes of existence?

“The mind is a great gift, but it has to be quieted down in order to feel, hear and see the presence of God.”

Yes, grounding and meditating change everything. 

“Just as it is fire's nature to burn, it is meditation's nature to heal, to bring peace and uplift you beyond your worldly environment and transport you to a higher plane.”

Alice, it’s truly been a pleasure. You inspire me beyond words, my daughter was named after you, and thank you for being with me today. Any last remarks for my readers?

“Women have been held back and limited throughout the centuries. Creation could not have been rendered, not even considered, let alone be brought into manifestation without woman. She is principal, a powerful energy. She is first.”

Interview with a Ghostpire: Alice Bailey

It’s Moonday at Interview with a Ghostpire, and I’ll be talking to Alice Bailey about Flat Earth. 

So Alice, I’m dying to know, have you been paying attention to Flat Earth theories?

“We must resign ourselves to the fact that the only way in which we can find the clue to the mystery of the rays, systems, and hierarchies, lies in the study of the law of correspondences or analogy. It is the one thread by which we can find our way through the labyrinth, and the one ray of light that shines through the darkness of the surrounding ignorance.”

Haha, Our personal truth/community is important to me as well. Do you think chasing misinformation can be a path that leads towards someone’s destiny? 

“Much must remain esoteric and veiled. The risks of too much knowledge are far greater than the menace of too little. With knowledge comes responsibility and power,—two things for which the race is not yet ready. Therefore, all we can do is to study and correlate with what wisdom and discretion may be ours, using the knowledge that may come for the good of those we seek to help, and recognising that in the wise use of knowledge comes increased capacity to receive the hidden wisdom.”

It does seem to be a comforting family for the people involved. So, maybe they’ve truly uncovered some meaning of love. 

“THE LORD BUDDHA HAS SAID that we must not believe in a thing said merely because it is said; nor traditions because they have been handed down from antiquity; nor rumors, as such; nor writings by sages, because sages wrote them: nor fancies that we may suspect to have been inspired in us by a Deva (that is, in presumed spiritual inspiration); nor from inferences drawn from some haphazard assumption we may have made; nor because of what seems an analogical necessity; nor on the mere authority of our teachers or masters. But we are to believe when the writing, doctrine, or saying is corroborated by our own reason and consciousness. "For this," says he in concluding, "I taught you not to believe merely because you have heard, but when you believed of your consciousness, then to act accordingly and abundantly.”

Have you ever encountered a plane you thought was flat or lacked depth?

“The entire universe is a great theatre of mirrors.” 

Alice! Reflections and projections is our new band name. I’ve really enjoyed talking with you today. Do you have any last remarks for the readers? 

“In these days of the shattering of the old form and the building of the new, adaptability is needed. We must avert the danger of crystallisation through pliability and expansion. The "old order changeth," but primarily it is a change of dimension and of aspect, and not of material or of foundation.”

Interview with a Ghostpire: Christopher Lee

Today on Interview with a Ghostpire, we’re talking to Christopher Lee about numerology. 

Sir Christopher Lee, I’m dying to know, do you have an affinity for sacred numbers? 

“There was a gap of seven years between the first and second Dracula movies. In the second one as everybody knows, I didn't speak, because I said I couldn't say the lines.”

As you’ve transformed from your meat suit, do you still feel this way? 

“You can learn Elvish, if you want. It's a language like Italian and English. You can learn to read it, you can learn to write it, and you can learn to speak it.”

Oh uh, ok. Well, do you think there are numerical codes that unlock different universal portals and secrets? 

“It's what you don't see that keeps you on the edge of your seat in any kind of film - leave it to the imagination of the viewer.”

But what if excitement isn’t what we’re looking for? What if we want to understand?

“There is a dark side in all of us. And for us 'bad' people, the bad side dominates. I think there is a great sadness in villains, and I have tried to put that across. We cannot stop ourselves doing what we are doing.” 

You know, I’m with ya there. We’ve really got to get to know ourselves. Well, thanks for talking with me today, Sir. Any last remarks for the readers? 

“I thought that people should know about the dangers of Satanism, and diabolism does exist - there's no question about it.”

Interview with a Ghostpire: Leonora Carrington

As a fellow magic practitioner, I have to ask, have you been watching Hellier unfold? And what do you think?

“You may not believe in magic but something very strange is happening at this very moment. Your head has dissolved into thin air and I can see the rhododendrons through your stomach. It's not that you are dead or anything dramatic like that, it is simply that you are fading away and I can't even remember your name.”

Hmmm, yes, magic is everywhere. 

What’s your take on Terry Wriste?

“People under seventy and over seven are very unreliable if they are not cats.” 

Why do you think an alien might send an e-mail? 

“This is a love letter to a nightmare.”

What do you think of the blue balloon? Are we to accept it as trash, a clue, or a synchronicity that is both which is a small piece to a larger clue? 

“One has to be careful what one takes when one goes”

Interesting, thank you Leonora, and lastly, do you think tin cans need vacations too?

The full moon shone brightly between the trees, so I was able to see, a few yards in front of me, the origins of a distressing noise. It was two cabbages having a terrible fight. They were tearing each other's leaves off with such ferocity that soon there was nothing but torn leaves everywhere and no cabbages.

It’s been great chatting with you about the high strangeness of Hellier. Any last remarks for the readers? 

“It is impossible to understand how millions and millions of people all obey a sickly collection of gentlemen that call themselves 'Government!' The word, I expect, frightens people. It is a form of planetary hypnosis, and very unhealthy."

First Dimension Blues

As I get in a meditative state, I cast a maroon/copper chord out of my root chakra into the center of the earth. I watch it as it goes through each layer before it reaches its destination. Lately, I can’t pierce the first layer of soil without my chord flying off and heading into space. Even when I cast roots out of my feet, they spread horizontally before they attach to the dirt. This has caused a few new vibrational shifts to take place and a release of control/trust within me. 

I think this all started because, as time went on, I would cast the root chord, but I would also cast a purple crown thread up toward Sirius, the star system I have the most experience and trust with. Sometimes I would let myself suspend, weightless, between the chords amongst nothingness. Now, when I do that, I am suspended horizontally, and instead of feeling safe and easy, I feel tense and careful. 

I’ve been really wanting to get back to the center of the earth, and for a while I felt like I had to get my root back into the soil for that to happen. In my mind I couldn’t access earth with a firm rooting in space. (For the record, my chord doesn’t go anywhere specific, that I know of, when it’s out there. It just anchors into space). So, today I busted out this book I made of my first experience in the center (pictured). Reading this made me realize that I can still access this dimension, and the new placement of my trust/safety chord is a new perspective on this plane. 

So, naturally, I went to the center. That’s a different story for a different day. 

A lil ditty for time

The end of the His Dark Materials episode I just watched reminded me that sometimes, and most often, when you’re given pieces of information that lead toward prophesying, it’s common to try to apply that information to the here and soon-to-be-now. Let’s use tarot as an example. You get a tarot reading. The reader tells you that you’ll be going back to school only to find this amazing work companion whomst writes a grand thesis with you. And you’re like, “oh shit. I’m totally going back to school in the fall!” You go, graduate, have a blast, get the job of your dreams, BUT no great partner. 30-40 years goes by and you go back again for your masters. BLAMMO. Partner. Thesis. Whole. New. Life. Path. 

So like, that was sort of an extreme case, but I think it brought us on the same level if we weren’t already. Time is a different experience for us than it is for rocks or rivers or the Sun. Shit, the Sun IS time. We often feel like a year is a long time (our use of time, our year). It really isn’t, even for humans. For a fly, it’s impossible! Do you think, fly’s can dodge a hand slap so well because it takes our hand a year to hit them (their time)? 

Let’s go back to that tarot reading. Why the hell are these cards looking that far into the future? 

Here’s my theory. 

They’re not. They’re feeling your touch, your energy, you’re goal. And they say it. Some people get a bunch of goals. They start finding them early. Some people get a bunch of goals that don’t even feel like goals bc of the way our society views success etc. perspective. Perspective. Look, I’ve lost my train of thought. Perspective. Perspective. You know, the tarot just picks up on your destinies. The written half of your life. You don’t have to believe it, like I said, it’s just my theory. Yes, I believe we have free will. I don’t think there’s a set timeline to hit all of your little destinies, but I also think that some of those little destinies can be linked together aka can’t have one without the other. You can push them off course with actions you chose via your free will, but your destinies always come back to you bc they’re written. You’ll check them off.  Loosing yourself is pretty much the worst thing you can do bc that’s when shit gets helter skelter. Charles Manson would be bucking in his chair. You loose your way by putting yourself in neatly packed boxes or to a partner or a number of other things that can happen within a human experience, but you loose yourself and you’ve got to find yourself again. You’ve got to discipline yourself enough to go all in and be exactly who it feels best to be. 

Walk hand in hand with time. Touch base with Saturn, high five the Sun. You know, that kind of thing. Less worry about things that were “supposed” to happen bc they’re gonna. Chillax 

Share your magick

Don’t you think we’re in shift in time/space/energy so big that it’s on a galactic level? Don’t you feel this incredible build up that started last December? It feels like it grows in inches, but that’s because we’re humans with short lives. 

The build up has begun to change. It’s less that it feels like it’s growing and more that it feels like it’s morphing. People are changing and growing. The way we interact is coming full circle. The way we were once mesmerized by technology is slowing down. We’re coming back to our roots. We’re wanting human interaction and face to face conversations. 

As I walked into the cemetery this morning I was thinking about the time a dude wanted me to write the cards for his “female empowerment tarot deck.” As if that’s a man’s to give. Obviously my eyes rolled back into another dimension before I replied to him, but as I continued to think of this story my mind was stopped by something pulling me into the cemetery. It pulled so hard and so fast I was tripping over my legs. I visit this cemetery 2-3 times a week on average, but I had taken a long break. I think it had been a month since my last visit. 

Once inside I noticed all of these piles of leaves and sticks on the walkway. I thought they were raked up and had potentially been the work of someone cleanting up the area, until I noticed all of the sticks were full of bite marks. A little strange but still probably the work of someone cleaning up. 

I didn’t have a lot of time today, so I high-fived my tree friends, gave my offerings through the portal, and kept the conversations short. A whole new area of the cemetery was calling to me today, but I didn’t have time to give it the attention it wanted. I’m only one person, but there’s so many places that need love and affection. 

Take this as a call to arms, witches. Get out there and love your patches of grass, trees, birds, bugs, and everything sharing the land with you. Nature is thirsty for love and affection and it needs you. I am of firm belief that the pollution we place upon this planet, the trash we create every gd day pollutes other realms as well. We’re having a bigger effect then we even think. I implore you to discipline yourself into buying less, using less plastic, and making conscious decisions every day to add more love into the world. 

Octagon Hall pt 2–Katie’s Story

——it’s important you remember that I’m writing this from my perspective/reality—-

Pulling into the Octagon Hall driveway felt like time travel. And it’s not because you’re looking at a preserved piece of history, but because the air felt old. I stayed in the car while everyone went inside for a run-down on the location. I like to enter a place with as little knowledge of the property as possible, that way, when I make wild claims, it’s with less bias. I had a lot of mixed feelings upon arrival, so I did a little meditation before I went inside. 

I got out of the car and touched the yard, met the trees, and walked the property line. The owners of the building took off, so I did my own little walk-through of the house before it got dark. 

I didn’t get too many feelings on the first floor. It was all about the meeting room and the kitchen in the basement for me. 

It was all about the yard and the barn for me, too. 

Earlier that day, Rachel and I had prepared the ritual we were going to do that night. She had mentioned she wanted to summon the “up”, so we prepared our elements. The first time I concocted this ritual, it was on a massive scale. The entire alter was the roof of Fort Knox (it’s a Haunt ME episode if you haven’t seen it). Here, at Octagon Hall, there’s a circular opening in the trees that I knew was our location. The scale was much smaller, but this was my 4th time with the ritual now, so I felt confident in the practice. 

In they came. And quick. Before we could make a plan, the yard and driveway were teaming with creatures. It was just like the M. Night Shamalan movie “Signs”, like no-joke tho. I would hear branches moving and you’d see an arm or leg and then it would blend into the surroundings. I was hearing noises everywhere. I was feeling like they were trying to talk to me, but the way they manipulate sound is hard to understand. It’s like they have 4 vocal chords that vibrate on different levels and they try to manipulate multiple sounds we hear into one word. It’s hard to describe, but lol, also hard to listen. (This ‘manipulation of sound’ was a first time occurrence for me. The other times I practiced the ritual, I heard voices in our language).  I see a giant white creature on all fours, with like, a big ol round butt like a polar bear, run away from me toward the barn. The door slams shut and we all move closer. As we get closer and closer to the barn, the intensity dissipates. I turned to the house and saw someone on the roof. It dawned on me that the barn was a distraction while whoever all went inside the house. I was nervous, but I knew we all needed to go inside as well. 

Inside the house we heard voices and footsteps, but no contact with the creatures whatsoever. Earlier in the night, during my lil walk-thru, I had an experience in the meeting room in the basement, so I figured that would be a good place to start an Estes Method session. My experience was a vision. I was standing behind a circular table, looking out of the window and I felt like I was one of the men that used to conspire in that room. I *knew* that I was staring at a woman that I, meaning whatever man was showing me the vision, would later sexually assault. She was crying. It was devastatingly intense. I got the feeling a lot of sinister plans were made in that room, alas, the session yielded no evidence of my claims. 

Next up, an Estes Method session outside on the porch. Now THIS was wild to me. I’m not totally sure how “wild” it was to the other ladies, but this was a session like I had never experienced before. Instead of hearing the voices under the radio waves, it seemed like whoever was talking to me, they called themselves “Star people” (which made me cringe cuz it seems corny lol), they took the radio frequencies and changed them into words. It’s so hard to describe, and it was so hard to decipher what they were saying. Ok, I’m gonna try to describe this better. You know how, when you’re using a spirit box, you hear blips of the radio stations? Well, it took those radio sounds and strung them together like beads on a necklace. The radio sounds warped into words and they spoke over many frequencies. It was like 1 word took at least 6 or 7 stations to come through. Remember how I said it seemed like they had 4 vocal chords? That was coming through via the spirit box. You’ll have to read Rachel’s write up for exactly what I said because I don’t even remember. I just remember concentrating soooo hard to try to hear what they were saying. I know I missed most of it. This was unlike any Estes/spirit box session I’ve ever encountered. I’ve never heard anything manipulate the box like that, and I haven’t since. Rachel got into the session, but she couldn’t figure out what they were saying either. But like, I’m not surprised. What surprises me the most is how often we get answers in the English language lol. But maybe that’s just because telepathic communication ultimately ends up through our lens. Anyway, that’s basically it. To me, whatever creatures I experienced outside communicated in the same way as what spoke to me in the spirit box, but I didn’t get the feeling they were around us anymore when we were doing the session. Who knows tho, maybe that’s just because I was focused on the session, or maybe they changed their vibration and I couldn’t tune into it anymore. I have no clue. All I know is that I felt on high alert right after we finished the ritual and all of that went away when we went inside. I don’t think it went away BECAUSE we went inside, I just think the intensity stopped at that moment. What a fun investigation tho. 10/10 recommend. 

Octagon Hall pt 1; Rachel’s story

Octagon Hall has always been one of my favorite purported Haunted locations to visit. I made it a point to try to visit the Hall at least once a year to hang out with the “occupants” and see what knowledge we could glean about the past lives of those wandering spirits. On this most recent trip I was accompanied by a few friends who tend to investigate in a more “non traditional” manor, and I was very excited to see how the Hall responded to these techniques. Upon arriving on location and getting a feel for the place, we decided that our intention that night would be to not just attempt to communicate with those passed on to the “other side”, but to also attempt to communicate with what Katie Webb referred to as the “Up”, or in other terms, extra terrestrials. We decided that we would create a ritual space, with each elemental point of the pentagram containing a physical representation of the element of that point and an offering of some sort. These items included herb infused water, fresh fruits, tobacco, bread with honey butter, and a few other items that we thought would serve our intentions well. At each point we gave thanks, made offerings, and shared in a communal space with the energies we were attempting to contact. Once the ritual was completed we began our investigation for the evening.

There are very few places that I have investigated that I will for sure say have unexplainable paranormal phenomena ...this place is at the top of that list. While I had no doubts we would encounter a spirit presence or two throughout the evening, I wasn't quite prepared for the “other” contact we received. Albeit there wasn't a grand entrance by a flying saucer dipping down into the center of the yard to say hello, we did, however, experience some rather odd lights in the sky that seemed to respond to flashing of our lights into return. The other ladies in the group also reported an uptick in the presence of Black Hawks (military personnel) in the skies overhead. I myself can not confirm that, as I did not see any helicopters or anything of the sort that evening. At one point in time while investigating the outside areas of the property Katie spotted some type of creature entering a barn at the far edge of the yard. She described it as almost a white ape type figure that ran towards the barn. I can only confirm that I heard the sound of the barn door slamming as if something or someone had run inside in a hurry. We decided to check it out, but the closer I got to the barn the more I got the sense that it was a set-up. We were being lured to that barn, and my instincts told me to keep my distance. So we did.

Once we returned to inside the house we found the activity to be picking up. We sat around the downstairs table, lit some candles and turned off all the lights and set up a space for Katie to pull cards in relation to the house and its occupants. We began to hear footsteps all around, and even disembodied voices coming from upstairs. Whenever we decided to move to follow the sounds of the activity, it all seemed to stop. Other than a few bumps and knocks the house became eerily quiet. An Estes session yielded very little insight, and it seemed we had hit a wall in our attempts to communicate with whatever was in the house.

So we returned outside to do an Estes session on the porch with the intention to specifically contact the “Up.” Katie settled in, and very quickly addressed the group with a “Hello, How are you?” Throughout the conversation we were told we were speaking to the Star people, specifically a being that referred to itself as Un’dred (pronounced like OON Dred) that



 stated it would appreciate some more bread and butter, and would enjoy another smoke with us. The conversation was short, but enlightening. I couldn't believe that somehow we had managed to potentially contact beings from the “stars” that had not only appreciated the ritual and offerings we had given but also acknowledged enjoying them! The conversation was brief, but it was evident that the ritual we performed had not gone unnoticed and we may have begun the early stages of connecting with the “star people.” It was an amazing learning experience for sure! After that Estes session I gave the seat a shot, but wasn't able to really understand anything coming through so Katie sat down and pulled more cards for the evening and we began to wrap up the investigation.
This was the first time I had been apart of an investigation that truly incorporated different styles and aspects of the occult and paranormal studies, and it was amazing. I will definitely be adding these touches to investigations in the future. And until next time Octagon Hall, tell your star people I got one rolled up just for them!!

Written by Rachel L. Decker

CUFF OFF

I have often thought of myself as an agent of change. I believe it, and so, in my reality, that’s what I am.
Believe.
If we believe it to be true, it is.
This can get pretty delusional, pretty damn quick, lol. But ride the wave for a second. Keep a good middle ground in your head, stay away from extremes, and believe something to be true about yourself.
Now, let’s push this to the extreme a little bit.
Let’s say, what we’ve believed to be true becomes something we absolutely need, because we believe we need it.
So, this new truth becomes a need, a must have. Maybe even a beyond-truth. Maybe that’s unimportant.

I wanna drop into feelings now, but I’ll come back to needs, and whether they’re believed by us to be true or “real” we’ll discard because they mean the same thing.

So, what got me thinking about love, like THINKing about it instead of *feeling* it, was a conversation I had with a stranger today. We were talking about cat litter, lol, and I brought up my cats’ needs for litter (they’ve got the sensitive skin). This stranger says, “sounds like the cats have the upper hand in your relationship.”

How absurd.

My cats have the basic needs of super clean litter boxes because their bodies are sensitive to sharing the space with each other. Isn’t a relationship with any animal (we’re including humans under the
animal umbrella) about meeting the basic needs of each other? So, now, I love my cats. So, then, wouldn’t I want to do everything in my power to make their lives as special and wonderful as I can? How is that my cats having the upper hand? Let’s remember, I love them. I understand that they are cats, and I understood what they have to offer before I decided to bring them home. Can you feel me getting mad rn? I’m mad at this dude all over again, lol.

Ok, so let’s jump to romantic love. Our basic needs must be met. What are those for you? And I’m not talking about making some arbitrary checklist for the “perfect soul mate”. I’m not talking about what you need from someone else. What the fuck do YOU need? I need an hour before I leave the house to get my brain ready for people, lol. I need entire days alone. If my stomach is upset, I need to watch crappy movies. Those are the facts. If you become hardcore about fulfilling your own needs, you’ll eventually get that dream relationship you *thought* you could contain within a list. Cuz let’s be real, it’s not about having shit in common. It’s about finding the same type of creature.

But

Let’s say, hey, it’s cuffing season and your heart is particularly tender. You go on a date. This person is pretty cool. You start spending time together. You sacrifice a need here and there.

Back to belief!

Sacrificing your needs can unlatch these beliefs you had in yourself. (I will clarify, also, that I’m talking about soul-level beliefs. I’m not talking about ego beliefs like you have to have your coffee a certain way every day or life is over. Like, get a grip, lol. I mean, obvi if you have allergies, ok bad example. Hopefully you get where I’m going bc I have no more examples, lol). By not taking care of your basic needs, you diminish the belief you have in yourself. That’s why self-care has become a booming new business. It’s not because bath bombs open up a gateway to your soul, although it feels like it is, lol. It’s because you needed that time for yourself. You needed to feel good!

So

I think love is meeting needs, for whoever. People might jump and say, going above and beyond needs! But like, don’t wear yourself out lol. Meeting needs is great because you’re just being your best version of self, so, how can you even DO more?

So, I guess I wrote this to be like, “don’t let cuffing season let you diminish the belief you have in yourself.”

Maine is Magick

A quick google search on Mackworth Island will turn up a bunch of different articles. This is one of Maine’s most famous islands, steeped in lore and complete with a traumatic and, quite frankly, disturbing history. It’s the stuff a paranormal show on the travel channel would dream of visiting. Most people won’t be doing any ghost-hunting on the location though. This island has hours and it closes at dusk. So, why am I even writing about it if it’s been written to death? It’s simple, there’s a lot more to this island than trauma, there’s a bigger picture to be discussed. 

Maine island lore is full of fairies and gnomes, and Mackworth Island isn’t any different. An entire section of the island is dedicated to fairies, and it’s full of houses and offerings. When you visit this island, you’re to bring an offering to the ghost horse if you happen by the pet cemetery. Some people believe that the horse is the gatekeeper to the island’s many spirits. 

A handful of people will tell you their ghost stories from Mackworth, but most people, the workers on the island specifically, don’t have any tales of their own. That’s where the horse comes in. If you bring the horse a carrot or an apple, it is said that you’re showing that you’re someone the spirits can trust. 

All of my experience with this island comes from performing magic rituals on its shores. The shores are loaded with quartz, garnet, mica, and one of the most powerful protectors, sand. I’ve found that I can speak anything into existence on the shores of this island. You can’t just roll up there and chant anything into existence though. The island will make sure of it. 

Side bar—there’s ideas that the great pyramid was once a battery. BECAUSE, it was encased in limestone, had a granite interior, a water tributary underneath, and the sun launched down onto the point. 

So, what if you have *most* of those components? Maybe you can’t generate your own energy, but what if you can amplify vibrations you’re sending out? There are two other places in Maine with this same mineral content and water running along them that I’ve visited (probably many more than 2 exist) and they all lend themselves well to the idea of a window area. I’ve had great luck performing large rituals for large beings and have had great luck manifesting my needs in these areas. All three areas are known for their hauntings and exciting ghost tales. What if the combination of the right minerals works like a chemistry experiment? 

Aside from Maine being the ultimate vacationland and beautiful, it’s creepy. Anyone that’s grown up here has a ghost story. 8 out of 10 people have lived in a haunted house. Why does this happen here? Well, what if the entire state is a giant magick spell? The ocean runs along its side, the entire coast is quartz, granite, and beach sand (for those unfamiliar, beach sand is often used in place of salt in magick rituals), the state is steeped in pine/oak/maple trees, apples, limestones, granite, tourmaline, and many other minerals. What if Maine is a gigantic magick spell? 

We have lots of islands with no police or external governing of any kind (are you thinking about wicker man? Cuz you should be). We have towns that hide their ghosts from outsiders and worship them like gods. We have towns buried by water for companies like Nestle. We have had wars fought on our coasts. I mean, seriously. There’s so much to explore and investigate here. I’ll have to tell you about the dogs and the mermaids another time. 

Under the Altar Cloth

Like many witches, I have multiple altars. Some I keep for offerings and space for specific beings and some are for spells. I have a main working alter that changes the most. I haven’t changed it in months, which is unlike me. I have been having a lot of anxiety around changing it, which is also unlike me.

I can see this alter perfectly from my bed. Over the past couple of months, I’ve stared at it and gotten stressed out that I hadn’t changed it. The longer I kept going without changing it, the more stress I felt.

Then, the August Full Moon happened.

I began to understand. I needed to shed the past. I couldn’t rework the altar because I had to completely change it. So, today I threw it all away, including my cloth.

Many astrologers talked about how transformative that Moon would be. If you’re feeling let down by what it brought it, it’s important to understand that things as small as being able to throw something away is hugely transformational. Sometimes that’s the blockage that has to move.

Being able to understand how each moment in life adds up to the larger picture is part of magic. Understanding that every vibration is like chemistry helps with how you manifest and conjure. If you can find all of the “small” magical moments in your life, you’ll start to realize how truly destined your path has become.

A Full Moon Dinner

. Uneven amount of sweet potatoes
. Whole yellow onion
. 2 cloves of garlic
. 1 bay leaf
. 2 sprinkles of lavender
. 2 sprinkles of rosemary
. 2 heads of broccoli
.2 tomatoes
Salt
Olive oil
1 avocado when served

Wrapped in aluminum foil or in covered dish for 30 min in 480.

So mote it be.

Hey, we’re energy workers

We’re all energy workers. We’re buzzing with vibrations within that help create a certain swagger about us. Some of us are more perceptive to this human energy than others, and some of us just straight up absorb the energy of others. Those folks may or may not even realize it. There’s a bunch of ways to learn how to manipulate the energies of the world//live within it without it overcrowding you. ---My mind just side tracked to thinking about witches (great energy workers) and how I hate in movies/tv shows they call male identifying witches ‘warlocks’. So annoying. A warlock is a different being altogether— Back to energy. Back to life. Back to reality. Back to the here and now. (Back to Life by Soul II Soul lyrics, some of y’all already knew that though). Songs.

Songs.

Songs.

Music. Music is an incredibly potent energy. This is one of our biggest tools in life and it goes so undervalued. Instruments create sound waves that both physically and metaphysically change the air of the whole room. It’s such a good way to get in touch with your ancestors and other types of spirits. Here, let’s timetravel:

Let’s go meet the Katie of the 90’s--

Music helped me self-identify. Actually, it was my entire identity for so long. Liking bands was who I was. Seeing them live and wearing their gear was me. I used to go into AOL chat rooms, when I was 13, and pretend to be Daniel Johns from Silverchair. I knew so much about him from reading Circus magazine, that most people didn’t even question me. Most of my memories are about music.

I used to battle my JR High best friend about which band was better, Nine Inch Nails or Silverchair (my fav band). He never knew I *actually* liked Nine Inch Nails at the time, the Downward Spiral had just come out, I mean…who DIDN’T like Nine Inch Nails at that time? I had to keep up the front for our war, though. We would write the name of our favorite band all over each other’s stuff. He wrote NIN on every single page of my math notebook! He obviously won. I think that’s the one thing in my whole life I was wildly competitive about. 

My first concert was Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Helmet. I was in 8thgrade and they played at the Lewiston Civic Center. My dad joked that we were going to a potluck dinner. Classic dadreaction. Limp Bizkit didn’t have an album out yet, so their phenomena hadn’t quite started. This tour launched their career, no doubt. I remember them doing that George Michael cover and that being my dad’s favorite part of the show. I also remember Jonathan Davis coming out with his bagpipes in hand, blaring away, and wishing I wore ear plugs. I’m sure I was wearing ADIDAS track pants and probably a Green Day shirt.

I went to a lot of shows in the 8th and 9th grade era. I saw Tool in Lewiston, Ice Cube in MA, Snoop Dogg in Chicago, DEVO in Chicago, and my beloved Silverchair in MA. I definitely criedwhen I saw Silverchair live. I definitely vowed to never wash my hand again when Mark Mothersbaugh used me to steady himself. I definitely remember when Snoop Dogg did a tribute to 2pac. I definitely remember when 2pac was shot. I remember watching all the MTV coverage of the shooting with Kurt Loder. 

The thing is, is that, music isn’t an identity. But, if that’s true, then who the hell am I? I’m the girl that used to air guitar in my living room to Veruca Salt. I’m the girl that made up a choreographed dance to Anti-Christ Superstar. I’m the girl that bought Gangsta’s Paradise CD single because it had an instrumental and rapped my answering machine message along to it. I’m the girl that turned in Misfits lyrics to my creative writing class as poetry. I made my friends mixtapes from the radio and chopped up the sounds into new songs. I’ve seen the Dropkick Murpheys 11 times live. Once I told the singer of Powerman 5000 that he should marry me because then his name would be Spider Webb. I used to cry along to the Bush album Sixteen Candles while trying to fall asleep at night. I used to try to imagine what it would be like to be the only girl in White Zombie. (I’m an energy worker, and--

Music was my everything.

What I didn’t realize, was, music was my first teacher in energy work. **Blaring foghorn**

------

Join me, in visualizing the vibration of, let’s say a cello or guitar. Can you see the sounds coming off of them in your mind’s eye? If you’ve ever played a string instrument, hit a drum, or blown into some brass you can probably feel the vibrations as you try to visualize what they might look like if the human eye could see them. I see them as mostly reds and blues. The colors are sort of long brush strokes that blend together every pitch within the grey scale. What do you see?

Making mix tapes was the first way I started working to change the energy in the room. They all had to have their individual feeling. I often liked to make mine a sort of, rollercoaster of emotions, lol. Pump the bpm and then take it down a bit. I worked at various record stores for 8 years of my life and would make a mix before work that depicted the mood I wanted to be in that day (obviously to play while at work). It’s wild to watch how music controls emotions and reactions (you should SEE how people react to a Pharoah Sanders album while shopping lolol), and yet, that’s a concept that’s not new to anyone. Anyone that’s listened to music knows you have different music for different days//occasions. We all get that. Somehow though, when we start talking about human energies and other dimensional energies, people aren’t always here for it. 

Why do you think that is?

Sure, music is easily identifiable. But, even the most basic music listener knows listening to an album on vinyl picks up more sounds then listening to it on cd. So, how can one deny that humans experience energies and different energetic phenomenon more and lesser than others. (without arguing about the technologies I just mentioned). We scientifically know that some things that contain matter right in front of our eyes have more energy then others. Why not transfer this into greater, more fringe ideas? 

I said this in my last article, but the energy we conjure and create makes an imprint. It lingers and lasts like a slushy on the tip of our tongue. We interact with it in the shadows and our ‘lesser’ senses. It’s up to us to create the atmosphere of comfort and joy, like an old Christmas song haha. 

It always comes back to a song.